


The perfect specimen

by hoosonja



Category: Ylvis
Genre: F/M, Fluff, House - Freeform, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 02:31:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10480098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoosonja/pseuds/hoosonja
Summary: Vegard's wife finds a wonderful house online





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work of imagination, there is no connection to reality.

Helene swiped away a house after the other on the screen, bored, and not expecting to see anything interesting. Not until she saw HER. A magnificent red wooden structure, rising to the height of two storeys, surrounded by trees on a small hill. The ground sloped gently down toward water, where a small boathouse peeked out from among the bushes. Her mind started making plans for the spacious garden as soon as her eyes grazed a picture of it. She ignored the fact that the insides of the house looked quite hideous: brown and dated wallpapers from the fifties were already being replaced by airy white in her head. 

 

The pictures reminded her of the way her old house in Bergen had looked before she had started working on it, together with Vegard, how they had fixed every little detail to her liking and how they had had their first two children there. It had been her dream-come-true, and somehow this house plucked the same chords deep inside her. 

 

She felt positively giddy when she danced across the foyer to meet her husband several hours later, when he came home from work. Her greeting kiss was even more deep than normally, and Vegard took her by the shoulders, pushing her back while studying her glowing face. 

 

“What is it? Something has definitely happened here while I’ve been at work.” 

 

“Come see, I’m sure you will love it too!” 

 

Vegard had a curious and slightly doubtful look on his face, but he meekly followed his wife upstairs. It was the easiest course of action, there was no use asking questions when she was as excited as this. Helene pulled him behind her to the computer, the screen was open and displayed the house from the outside, in all its 150-year-old glory. 

 

“There, that is going to become our new home!” 

 

“But darling, we’ve barely moved into our present one and you’ve had complete control over the placement of the furniture and such…” 

 

“It is not MY house though, someone else has been in control of finishing the floors and ceilings and walls. I want a project of my very own, just like we had back in Bergen. I really loved every single inch of that house, I had a hand in all of the details in it. And you made me sell it.” 

 

She knew that was a low blow, Vegard wasn’t to blame and they really had made the decision to sell together, but she desperately wanted this property because there was something about it that touched her. Vegard looked at the house more carefully. The insides seemed positively ghastly. Then he saw the price tag under the pictures. 

 

“A hundred and eighty thousand euros? You must be joking! Do you think I’m made out of money?” 

 

“No, but I’m sure the bank is more than happy to let us have the sum, with the earnings you’ve had in the past years it shouldn’t be a problem.” 

 

“Come on, be reasonable. You know the hours I spend at work, when would I have the time to work on it? It looks like the insides need to be torn off completely.” 

 

“Yes, I agree, the insides need to come out altogether, even the floors and…” To Vegard it seemed Helene only heard what she wanted to hear. 

 

“Hold your horses, I haven’t agreed to anything, and as I said, IF we managed to buy it, it would need a complete overhaul and there are no guarantees the structure is even sound in the first place.” 

 

“We could get someone to do the initial tearing down, you know, like the vinyl flooring and so on. I believe it would be fairly straightforward. After that we could see if we needed any outside help moving forward. And it is not like we have a tight schedule with it or anything, so it’s ok that you work, I could focus on it during the days, as much as possible, and you could do all the bits that require muscles. I promise I’d take good care of them if they got sore,” Helene said, referring to her physiotherapist’s profession, which she hadn’t had the chance to practise in years because of their young children. 

 

She knew she was being overly optimistic, she couldn’t exactly spend too much time working on the house, their youngest being so small, and she couldn’t really take him to the construction site due to all the dust. She knew it and Vegard knew it, but still she was hopeful. 

 

“Besides, it’s on an island, isn’t that terribly inconvenient when it comes to commuting?” 

 

“Not really, I have looked it up. There is a subway stop right next to the bridge leading to it and there’s a good connection to the main road. Plus there is a school and a daycare close by.” 

 

Vegard smiled gently. “You really have set your heart to it, haven’t you?” 

 

“I really have.” Helene looked at Vegard with her best puppy dog eyes. “Could we please go see it?” 

 

“Sure, but do me a favour and don’t read too much into it, we’re just going there to satisfy your curiosity,” Vegard mumbled, but deep down he knew he had lost the moment her big blue eyes begged him to say yes. 

 

Helene smiled broadly. “The sitter will be here in forty minutes or so, and we’ll have plenty of time to get there before six o’clock.” 

 

Vegard lifted his eyebrows. “You had it all planned ahead of time, you were that sure I’d say yes?” 

 

“Well…” 

 

“Am I really so predictable?” 

 

Helene just smiled an enigmatic Mona Lisa smile. Vegard shook his head, annoyed at himself. 

 

“I really need to grow a spine,” he muttered. 

 

Helene moved closer, sliding her hand under Vegard’s shirt and traced the bumps on his backbone with her forefinger while hugging him tight. 

 

“There’s nothing wrong with your vertebrae, in my expert opinion, you just have a wife who’s hard to resist,” she whispered into his ear and nibbled at his earlobe gently with her teeth. 

 

“Mhh,” sighed Vegard. “This is the type of persuasion I’m willing to yield to much easier, why don’t we talk more this way?” 

 

Helene gave him a quick kiss and tapped his nose with her finger. 

 

“We don’t have time to “talk” further, you need to get changed. The sitter’s coming in just over half an hour.” 

 

Vegard grumbled but acquiesced. He was sure they’d continue the conversation after they got back home.


End file.
